Friday, September 16, 2016

Before sunrise

One day I was sitting down I was so lonely I had nobody. To be my friend I go to a roof top I see a light.So I go to see it I see a candle I went to touch it.OWWWWWWWWWW it brunt my hand it hurt so much I went to my brothers.A cat was comeing I was worried I hide the cat.Got scared of yay I went on too the roof top and I see the candle.Get put out so I rush over there I was too late she was.Gone I was sad then she came back I was happy


  1. Kia Ora James I am Trent from Grey Main School. I like how you have used capital I's. Next time you could work on your spelling. This reminds me of when I kept moving my finger in a candle. Why did you do this for writing? Good Bye

  2. Kia Ora James I am Ayesha from Mamaku 2. I like how you used capitals in your writing. Next time you could put a space after a full stop. How long did it take for you to write this and What gave you the idea of writing it? From Ayesha

  3. Kia Ora James, I like how you have put alot of information in.Next time you could use a different word than I. I also like about this is that there is alot off detale.
    From madisyn


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